1. |
...
00:46
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2. |
Great Grey Towers
04:23
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Do you hear
the well bell ringing?
It's time to fall
in line and out
of love with your lofty dreams.
So tell me,
do you feel different or special
like they promised
after four short years
despite the nights
spent crying till the sunrise
at your desk,
surrounded
by our loneliness?
Spill to me
all of your regrets
so I can
feel validated.
Take a seat here
beside me
on the railway
and we will wait.
You and me,
my intangible company,
waiting for tomorrow
and a train back home.
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3. |
Eastern Winter
03:17
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Lying in my room,
immobile in my bed,
I'm paralyzed and stuck, and soon
this fickle thorn
in my side
will keep me from noticing
the morning light.
These arms are soft,
plush but somehow strong
enough to keep me comfortable
while squeezing the light from my eyes
as I crack my spine.
This eastern winter so
unexpected left me bereft
of answers you
would love for me to tell when you ask,
"What's wrong?"
But my throat's frozen over.
So I'll sigh
and look at the time
and act like I
meant to wake up this late.
You know you're an adult
when the snow makes your blood boil.
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4. |
Ackerman
05:08
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I remember
that Sunday afternoon
when I said my goodbyes to you
as I shouldered
the bags that I had brought from afar
to that old college house
that was warm in the autumn cold.
The crackle of skin
and fallen leaves
were ever so inviting.
But we moved on
and away.
I remember
that dark November night
overlooking the upstate lights
after hours
on road spent as far as it could go.
I was late to the party
by a couple years.
Now I sit here reminiscing of the morning
littered on the floor with wasted cans of beer
that we left behind under a grayscale sky
as you showed me your new home.
I never knew such a vast panoramic view
would bring me so close to you.
It was so cold,
but we didn't seem to mind
'cause we were having
the time of our lives.
I wouldn't even trade the memories
of the rest stops on the way
or the five weather patterns I braved.
Over endless Appalachia beneath the
moonlit glare.
If there is a heaven,
we found it there.
I never took any pictures,
for I knew that the sight would last
for the rest of my life.
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5. |
Fairhill
04:56
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These winding limestone hills
wear out my legs and
take the same toll on my brain when
I find myself lost
in the trees and thoughts of you.
Of you and of us,
a product of our mothers' love:
sudden, so sure,
and here we are, glad that you said hello
at all.
Seventeen years,
longer than most things I've endured.
I never grew weary of
ways we'd find time to be ignored
underneath the first floor of
your parents' house.
It was long past twelve.
The hours spent so well.
I trespassed through
the woods we knew
so well between our houses
and knocked on your doorway
despite your emploring
that I could just walk in
like you did in mine.
Oh, I never could be bothered
to mind the surprise.
And I'll admit that's why
I don't wanna move back home
at all.
Seventeen years
and now hundreds of miles
lie in between us.
I remained here,
only slightly surprised
while you moved up to Boston.
Did you pack your bags with all
the memories of what we once called
our old home lives
that we left behind in Delaware?
We will remember
every December.
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6. |
Cornerstone
04:17
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O Jesus!
Are you near?
For the children sing
with no fear.
Weekly I have found myself
wondering if there is a hell
after all.
I'll maintain this charade
so long as they keep
their tilted heads at bay.
Inquisitive arms across their chests.
Oh my God!
Can we just change the subject?
Saint Francis softly sings
a melancholy melody,
for no one is listening
to his treatise on humility
passed on at last.
Don't be so quick to pat my back.
I swallowed my pride just for the taste.
Somehow my hunger was satiated
or at least abated
by the choir praising God above,
joyful in their boundless love.
It's not about me
but the love that I see
between their hands
in the passing of the peace.
Hands that brush together
like the ones that I remember
in the darkened sanctuary
after hours.
I was sixteen when I fell in love
for the very first time
and tore at my chest
for every subsequent lie
we told ourselves
every Sunday morn
and evenings afterward.
I nearly killed myself trying
to admit I couldn't love her.
O Memory!
Why won't you leave me be?
Is there something on my skin that makes me
taste so sweet
like this bloody wine
I just cannot bring myself to drink?
With Francis I will sing
a faint, forgotten harmony,
for I have found in me
a lyric worth remembering
from when we were
young and unreserved.
O Jesus!
Are you near?
For we sing with no fear.
Regardless if I've felt your hands,
I am clean and full again.
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7. |
Three Words
03:47
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Three words
exchanged on the phone today.
First time in a while.
And there was no voice on the other end,
raspy from the cigarettes
I wish you wouldn't smoke,
but who am I to stop you?
The one in the background.
Why did I
allow this to drift away
across the lines of these states
and city scapes
dotted with colored lights
that neither of us want to like?
Oh, I don't make the trek up north
'cause I've never got the cash I'm wasting
flipping through photos
and memories of you,
the one in the background.
I'm taking my place
I've always known with us,
though you may disagree,
and as much as I hate to say it,
I want you to carry on
without me.
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8. |
The Armistice
03:06
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The sound of silence on the couch
is wearing me out
and ringing in my ears.
I thought I'd be happy here,
content with slowing down.
In so many words I could explain
what it's like to have nothing to say.
But here we are,
expectant stares and vacant hearts.
Maybe it's something outside,
something so much bigger that you or I
could know or comprehend.
For now I'll find solace
in your shaking hands.
You should know this is so
much better than living
on my own,
but in the hallway
I have met a wraith
who says nothing more than
"Your life is a waste."
I'll never get away,
so I'm giving up on finding safety
in some other foreign place.
With open arms
and a bandaged heart,
I let the ghost under my arch
and left him locked past closet doors
with old and yellowed bones.
Blight infested in my head
takes a bite out of my weary neck.
At last, at the day's end,
I'll find solace on our unmade bed.
In so few words
I became unafraid
of no longer having anything to say.
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9. |
Willows and Pining
06:54
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Oh what a shame this apartment
pushed me away
just in time for me to fall
back in love with these old hallowed halls.
That is to say, I never really thought
it'd end this way.
Half-hearted goodbyes at my heels
and no shoulder to the wheel.
This is my apology
to these groves of
willows I never got to know
any better.
In favor of a window pane
pink in January mornings,
I gave away all their leaves.
A body is built to withstand only so much,
and with a withered white rose in hand,
you fell out of love
with a job,
with a man,
with an idea of home.
And I left you all alone.
All that I can give to you I left behind
in willow trees.
Their bending branches shun the sky.
Oh, I've lost.
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10. |
Vacant
04:34
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So that's it.
A hand falls to my side.
A doorknob click
sticks to the freshly vacant walls.
I am the replacement,
recalled, withdrawn, reluctant
to be the last one to remain.
We've grown up now
in and out of our parents' houses,
but we haven't got a clue.
It would've been so nice to sort it out
with you.
Perhaps we did.
Your persistent fist
and eyes to the sun
where what took you back home
while I got so much better
at saying no.
Let's take a walk down Easton Road
as see what must have changed
in the pavement.
in the leaves
between you and me.
For we've grown up now
and have papers to prove it,
so we might as well move out
and find some way to use them.
We have not been where we will go.
Maybe I'll see you there.
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11. |
South Easton
05:02
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The trees have come alive
and colorful just like
the flushed cheeks
of everyone around me,
revitalized
just in time
for a running start on the rest of our lives.
And I will remain here.
Maybe in ten years I'll regret
singing about feeling
left behind by people who tried
to do something with their lives,
but I know that I found my home
in you.
I held a diamond to the sun.
In counting the sides
I found that
love exists outside a kiss.
In the endless pages of these faces
lie people of all kinds
who've touched my heart
in some small way,
and I could not complain.
I have spent these precious last weeks
counting our golden moments.
There's a little bit of envy
in the best of us.
I know I'll be leaving soon,
but I'll leave impressed.
I've learned some words
of advice I'd like to share:
"I always have a fine time right were I am,
whomever I'm with.
Why, I'm having a fine time right now with you."
So I'll do my best not to get too jealous
as you walk triumphant down the aisle
in your caps and gowns.
For if there's one thing I've learned
these past four years,
it's that we all get to where we're going
somehow.
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No Stranger Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Every song is a love song.
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